"Even bad coffee is better than no coffee at all"
- David Lynch (American film director)
So begins the first of 14 state reports from the Midwest region of the Breakfast Across America tour. We started this trip on a Monday in early October from our home in Maryland and 20 days and 3,700 miles later returned on a Friday tired but very pleased about places we saw, people we met, and food we ate.
- David Lynch (American film director)
So begins the first of 14 state reports from the Midwest region of the Breakfast Across America tour. We started this trip on a Monday in early October from our home in Maryland and 20 days and 3,700 miles later returned on a Friday tired but very pleased about places we saw, people we met, and food we ate.
Grumpy's Cafe
Cleveland, Ohio
Grumpy's Cafe sits on a busy street in the pleasant Tremont section of Cleveland. The picture is a little dark because the sun was just rising over the horizon. The Healthy One is standing there in the doorway thinking "hurry up and take the damn picture, I'm hungry"which is apropos to the restaurant's name.
The original Grumpy's was located a few blocks away. The name came from the demeanor of the owner after he fell into the basement while renovating the building. The restaurant was sold in 2002 and then was destroyed by fire in 2004. The restaurant was reopened in its current location in 2007 and the owner kept the name Grumpy's although after a devastating fire you would have thought the name would have changed to The Totally Pissed Off Cafe.
AMBIENCE: The cafe has beautiful bay windows across an attractive facade. The inside of Grumpy's is also quite appealing, painted in bright colors and with photographs of Cleveland scenes shot by local professionals hanging on the wall. The restaurant is one of those places with a high industrial ceiling that magnifies noise. Don't try giving election secrets to Russian operatives here; it's very easy to hear the conversation of others. Nothing really interesting was being discussed around us - a man's daughter was applying to Arizona State and a lady was very moved by Jimmy Kimmel's health care monologue. Great oldies music played in the background which couldn't help but alleviate the grumpiness of any customer.
Our table for two was wobbly. I didn't realize this until The Healthy One started to cut into her breakfast and the coffee jumped out of my cup as if we were driving over a speed bump. We pointed out our flooded table top to our server who said there should have been some sort of device attached to the table to keep it steady but it was missing. She came back with lots of napkins but no device. From then on we cut very slowly.
Grumpy's Cafe sits on a busy street in the pleasant Tremont section of Cleveland. The picture is a little dark because the sun was just rising over the horizon. The Healthy One is standing there in the doorway thinking "hurry up and take the damn picture, I'm hungry"which is apropos to the restaurant's name.
The original Grumpy's was located a few blocks away. The name came from the demeanor of the owner after he fell into the basement while renovating the building. The restaurant was sold in 2002 and then was destroyed by fire in 2004. The restaurant was reopened in its current location in 2007 and the owner kept the name Grumpy's although after a devastating fire you would have thought the name would have changed to The Totally Pissed Off Cafe.
AMBIENCE: The cafe has beautiful bay windows across an attractive facade. The inside of Grumpy's is also quite appealing, painted in bright colors and with photographs of Cleveland scenes shot by local professionals hanging on the wall. The restaurant is one of those places with a high industrial ceiling that magnifies noise. Don't try giving election secrets to Russian operatives here; it's very easy to hear the conversation of others. Nothing really interesting was being discussed around us - a man's daughter was applying to Arizona State and a lady was very moved by Jimmy Kimmel's health care monologue. Great oldies music played in the background which couldn't help but alleviate the grumpiness of any customer.
Our table for two was wobbly. I didn't realize this until The Healthy One started to cut into her breakfast and the coffee jumped out of my cup as if we were driving over a speed bump. We pointed out our flooded table top to our server who said there should have been some sort of device attached to the table to keep it steady but it was missing. She came back with lots of napkins but no device. From then on we cut very slowly.
4 out of 5 stars
FOOD: I ordered the Apple Oatmeal Pancakes with cinnamon butter and Cajun home fries. I also ordered a side of corn beef hash because I had read a review that raved about it.
The corn beef hash was very tasty and I also appreciated the home fries being "kicked up" a bit by the Cajun spice. The pancakes were ponderous discs, very heavy tasting and dry. It must have been all the oatmeal in them. They were not really to my liking. I prefer a fluffier grilled batter. The cinnamon flavored butter didn't much improve things. Maple syrup may have helped but I was told Grumpy's doesn't serve the "pure" kind. No thanks. Log Cabin, Aunt Jemima, Kirkland, et. al. are maple FLAVORED syrups that hold no appeal for me.
The Healthy One has established a tradition of starting a regional breakfast tour with a not-so-healthy breakfast: bacon and eggs. She ordered the "Grumpy's Special" which consisted of two eggs, bacon, Cajun home fries, and toast and thought it was very good.
The Healthy One has established a tradition of starting a regional breakfast tour with a not-so-healthy breakfast: bacon and eggs. She ordered the "Grumpy's Special" which consisted of two eggs, bacon, Cajun home fries, and toast and thought it was very good.
4 out of 5 stars
COFFEE: Frankly, I was blindsided by the quality of the coffee I drank on the Midwestern tour. Call me a snob but it was weak. It was flavorless. It was unsatisfying. It was pitiful. Apparently, Midwest coffee has quite a reputation as just an insipid hot beverage. I discovered many articles on the internet lamenting the state of coffee across the Midwest. After our trip I was describing my experience with Midwest coffee to a friend and he told me that on his Midwest bicycle tours, he always brought a jar of instant coffee crystals into the cafes to stir in and strengthen the house coffee.
We had good to very good to soul satisfying coffee in the Northeast, the South, and the Southwest. What's up with the Midwest? Why did the coffee in breakfast after breakfast establishment taste like reheated Folgers? I have my theories.
Price Point. Good coffee costs money. Many of the towns where we had breakfast were economically deprived. Proprietors may be afraid to upgrade the coffee with accompanying prices for fear they will lose customers.
Tradition. Hard to believe, but in a few of the cafes we ate at we were the youngest customers in the place. These elder coffee drinkers grew up with Folgers, Maxwell House, Chock full o'Nuts and other mass produced coffees and are just fine with that, thank-you very much.
Caffeinated Personalty. In my opinion the Midwestern reputation of having a friendly and welcoming populace is well deserved. We did a lot of walking on our trip and inevitably everyone we passed (except one guy in Missouri) greeted us with a smile and hello. Maybe Midwesterners don't want to put an edge on their genial personalities by drinking strong, flavorful and highly caffeinated coffee.
Weather. It gets cold in the Midwest. Weak coffee can be just as hot as strong coffee. Possibly, people like the fact that you can drink weak coffee all day, stay warm, and not get the shakes from too much caffeine.
The coffee we had at Grumpy's was pretty weak. It was Midwest coffee. So why did I drink 3 cups of the stuff? See the quote at the beginning of this report.
We had good to very good to soul satisfying coffee in the Northeast, the South, and the Southwest. What's up with the Midwest? Why did the coffee in breakfast after breakfast establishment taste like reheated Folgers? I have my theories.
Price Point. Good coffee costs money. Many of the towns where we had breakfast were economically deprived. Proprietors may be afraid to upgrade the coffee with accompanying prices for fear they will lose customers.
Tradition. Hard to believe, but in a few of the cafes we ate at we were the youngest customers in the place. These elder coffee drinkers grew up with Folgers, Maxwell House, Chock full o'Nuts and other mass produced coffees and are just fine with that, thank-you very much.
Caffeinated Personalty. In my opinion the Midwestern reputation of having a friendly and welcoming populace is well deserved. We did a lot of walking on our trip and inevitably everyone we passed (except one guy in Missouri) greeted us with a smile and hello. Maybe Midwesterners don't want to put an edge on their genial personalities by drinking strong, flavorful and highly caffeinated coffee.
Weather. It gets cold in the Midwest. Weak coffee can be just as hot as strong coffee. Possibly, people like the fact that you can drink weak coffee all day, stay warm, and not get the shakes from too much caffeine.
The coffee we had at Grumpy's was pretty weak. It was Midwest coffee. So why did I drink 3 cups of the stuff? See the quote at the beginning of this report.
I'm guessing St. Leo is not the patron saint of coffee.
2 1/2 out of 5 stars
SERVICE: Our server was a human dynamo, visiting our table on numerous occasions but only staying for about 1 1/2 seconds to take our orders, make sure we were doing okay, refilling cups, and taking away dishes. I got tired watching her. I don't know where she got the energy at such an early hour of the morning but my guess is that it wasn't from the coffee.
4 out of 5 stars
4 out of 5 stars
A FEW WORDS ABOUT CLEVELAND:
Cleveland, in all probability, is the largest city we will or will have had breakfast on our tour. It use to be a lot larger. Today the estimated population is 385,809 and that ranks 51st among all U.S. cities. In 1950, Cleveland had a population of 914,808 and ranked 7th. The population has declined 19% since 2000. Only Detroit had a larger decline at 28.8%. New Orleans also had a population decline of 19% since 2000, entirely due to a natural disaster. Cleveland has been suffering an economic disaster. The national decline in the steel and auto industries was a big reason for job and population loss. According to the Cleveland Branch of the Federal Reserve, large publicly financed projects of the 1990s, such as the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, failed to provide promised economic growth. Additionally, the public schools have been designated as in "emergency status" and the city is attracting fewer college graduates than surrounding regions. Hopefully, the city has hit bottom. We noticed many construction cranes near the world famous Cleveland Clinic and University Hospitals as well as Case Western University, which may foretell viable private sector economic growth.
The Tremont neighborhood where we stayed and had breakfast at Grumpy's is one area of the city that is attracting investment for revitalization. Tremont is about 3 miles south of downtown Cleveland. It is residential heavy but has a large number of restaurants and bars and a number of artist studios. It also has 26 churches located within one square mile. St. Theodosius Russian Orthodox church commands the Tremont skyline with its 13 onion domes.
The wedding scene from the movie "The Deer Hunter" was filmed in the church. Another famous movie location site in Tremont is the house used in the movie "A Christmas Story" which is now a museum which features props, costumes, and memorabilia from the 1983 film which pops up on TV every Christmas season. We passed on the opportunity to visit.
Cleveland, in all probability, is the largest city we will or will have had breakfast on our tour. It use to be a lot larger. Today the estimated population is 385,809 and that ranks 51st among all U.S. cities. In 1950, Cleveland had a population of 914,808 and ranked 7th. The population has declined 19% since 2000. Only Detroit had a larger decline at 28.8%. New Orleans also had a population decline of 19% since 2000, entirely due to a natural disaster. Cleveland has been suffering an economic disaster. The national decline in the steel and auto industries was a big reason for job and population loss. According to the Cleveland Branch of the Federal Reserve, large publicly financed projects of the 1990s, such as the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, failed to provide promised economic growth. Additionally, the public schools have been designated as in "emergency status" and the city is attracting fewer college graduates than surrounding regions. Hopefully, the city has hit bottom. We noticed many construction cranes near the world famous Cleveland Clinic and University Hospitals as well as Case Western University, which may foretell viable private sector economic growth.
The Tremont neighborhood where we stayed and had breakfast at Grumpy's is one area of the city that is attracting investment for revitalization. Tremont is about 3 miles south of downtown Cleveland. It is residential heavy but has a large number of restaurants and bars and a number of artist studios. It also has 26 churches located within one square mile. St. Theodosius Russian Orthodox church commands the Tremont skyline with its 13 onion domes.
What we didn't pass on was a visit to the landmark West Side Market which looks like a train station from the outside but inside has over a hundred food vendors. Eleven of those vendors are bakeries. The day we were there, October 4, happened to be the day Swedes celebrate Cinnamon Bun Day. In honor of the day, I scoured each of the 11 bakeries for the perfect cinnamon bun and came up with this beauty.
The healthy one also purchased a pastry at another bakery but it was gone before I could take a picture. By the way, we also found City Roast Coffee in the market and they actually sold a decent cup of coffee.
BURN THOSE BREAKFAST CALORIES OFF:
On day one we took a hike in the serene Cuyahoga National Park just outside of Cleveland. Day two found us walking into and around downtown Cleveland including a stop at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. Departure day included plenty of walking and gawking at the Cleveland Museum of Art.
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October 3, 2017
NEXT UP: Michigan
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